OK, so I used the microwave for one of the steps to play it safe, and I did order a kit by mail, but I did make cheese! It only took about 20 minutes or so (it's called "30 minute mozzarella," but unbelievably, it really only takes that long). I didn't even have the thermometer I was supposed to have so I just guessed, and it still worked. I do appreciate now why cheese is expensive, though. 2/3 of a gallon of milk only made a little under a pound. It tasted exactly right. I got my kit at the New England Cheese Making Supply Company (http://www.cheesemaking.com/).
I was going to put cheesemaking off until after my sourdough and kefir experiments, but I had to make pizza and didn't have enough cheese (because I stopped buying it knowing that I could make it), and this is my brand of lazy and cheap (didn't want to go buy some at the store).